drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
