does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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