i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
