i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
