if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
