hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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