thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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