he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
