The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
