I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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