your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize