How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
