I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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