I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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