I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
