and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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