dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
