I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
