My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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