My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
