look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
