I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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