she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
