I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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