if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
