Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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