pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
