Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
