Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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