i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
