So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
