we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please, let me fuck your mom
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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