I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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