You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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