that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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