So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
