Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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