dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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