fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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