where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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