When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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