You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
