Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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