Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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