So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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