and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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