I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My life is pants optional.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize