shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
