We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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