discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
