Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
