just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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