I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I need water and some morals
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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