Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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