How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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