Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just google imaged poop.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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