dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
