The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
