That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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