The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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