i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
