We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Boobs speak an international language.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i think i just lost a toe
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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