That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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