Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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