Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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